Washington D.C.
Gay Flag Football League
"Get off the bench and get in the game!"

Power Rankings

Season XVI – Week 6 (Author: RJ tried and did 4. Holihan did the rest) - April 19, 2018

  1. S16 - Columbia Blue ('He-Blues') 7 - 0:

    Cammas and Strasberg have enough trophies, let someone else have one.

  2. S16 - Raspberry ('2 in the Stink & None in the Pink') 7 - 1:

    Alonzo Mable, the Daddy Whisperer, has reached out to me about 70 times to see if I’m okay following my knee exploding. So imma root for him for a little bit.

  3. S16 - Red ('The Rosebuds') 6 - 2:

    Columbia Blue and Raspberry are the clear #1 and #2 of this league and then there is a bit of a cliff to #3, Red (who already lost one game to Raspberry and another to Stripper Circus), and then a larger cliff to Parity Land, where everyone has between 2 and 4 wins.

  4. S16 - Gold ('Friends of Dorothy (Zbornak)') 4 - 3:

    The rest of these rankings are going to be arbitrarily based because nothing matters. Jared Calfee, you are not driving up from Richmond every week for a .500 season. Stop posting thot pics on Instagram and concentrate on football (don’t actually stop – my husband, Jamar, and many others would be very upset).

  5. S16 - Power Yellow ('Stripper Circus') 4 - 4:

    Scott Graham and Derek Johnson seem like they’d make a great buddy cop movie.

  6. S16 - Purple ('Purple Squirrels') 4 - 3:

    This is the nicest team of people who will do anything it takes to win a game, including murdering the opposing team’s QB.

  7. S16 - Hunter Green ('The Hunt Punters') 4 - 4:

    After losing to Silver, Purple did what they do best and won after seeing AJ leave for the hospital with a head wound.

  8. S16 - White ('Cake Monsters') 3 - 4:

    Vincent, I love you, but do you have to wear more lululemon on the field than my old sorority hook-ups? (RJ wrote this one)

  9. S16 - Power Orange ('Homo Depot') 2 - 5:

    Greg Kenderdine wants this comment to be about him, so it won’t be. Although Greg has never once beaten me in the league, so there’s that. But I promise you this isn’t about Greg. I’m not giving him any attention, positive or negative, at all. (RJ)

  10. S16 - Teal ('TEALquila') 3 - 4:

    TJ Baggett is the latest casualty of DCGFFL’s Sweet Sixteen Season. Whoever hurt this wonderful, poor man should be forced through one of those scary workout programs with Womack as punishment.

  11. S16 - Pink ('Petty in Pink') 3 - 4:

    C’mon y’all, is this AC Slaters 2.0 or modern day Dustin Diamond? Nikki is not around to save the season if you keep dropping games to 2 win teams.

  12. S16 - Royal Blue ('Royal Housewives of DC') :

    Am I jealous that my father, Joe Heron, has moved on with a better, brighter and nicer “straight” white boy? Why yes, yes I am (RJ also wrote dis one)

    I’m beginning to notice a trend where RJ has to mention how straight he is all the time….

  13. S16 - Power Blue ('Kristin and Her Blue Balls') 3 - 5:

    This is the mother of all backslides. After winning 3 in a row, Kristin’s squad hasn’t seen a W in five games – and with Teal and Raspberry next up, they may not ever again.

  14. S16 - Burgundy ('Burgun-D-Bags') 3 - 5:

    After showing flashes of brilliance vs Hunter Green and Purple, Burgundy goes down against Silver sans RJ. To finish the season at .500 it’ll be the Battle of the Bastar….cough….Commissioners as Hotchkiss takes on Kenderdine twice in the next two weeks.

  15. S16 - Silver ('Hi Hoe Silvers') 4 - 4:

    Since RJ left me to do this with less than half of the Power Rankings done, I get to fill in and do a better job than he did….just…like…his actual team.

  16. S16 - Kelly Green ('The Kelly Rowlands') 3 - 4:

    RIP to Sean “Patches” O’Holihan. Don’t worry Kellys, just always remember the 5 F’s of flag football that he passed on: fight, flag, f**k, fight, and fantasize about a three-term Obama presidency (RJ definitely wrote this one)

  17. S16 - Navy ('Call Me Navy') 3 - 4:

    If this team actually starts realizing it’s good, it could be a real spoiler. For the love of Andy Allen, I hope so.

  18. S16 - Charcoal ('#SquadCoals') 2 - 6:

    The fields HAVE been really great this season tho.

  19. S16 - Orange ('Tang Banged') 2 - 6:

    So do you have to be good to be a travel team QB or naw?