Washington D.C.
Gay Flag Football League
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Power Rankings

Season XVI – Week 4 (Author: Greg Kenderdine) - March 28, 2018

  1. S16 - Pink ('Petty in Pink') (2 - 3):

    From #1 pick in the Supplemental to #1 in the Power Rankings. How about that…

  2. S16 - Columbia Blue ('He-Blues') (4 - 0):

    Dungeon Master Strasberg is serving the league some Cthulhu realness this Spring en route to an undefeated first half.

  3. S16 - Red ('The Rosebuds') (4 - 1):

    I expect Brandon and Tyler Lacey to bud-up over the Easter Break to avoid a QB Controversy.

  4. S16 - Gold ('Friends of Dorothy (Zbornak)') (4 - 1):

    If any of you were ever interested if a penis pump actually works, QB Jared can tell you – decisively no.

  5. S16 - Raspberry ('2 in the Stink & None in the Pink') (4 - 1):

    One more thing we can all get angry at the Republican Party about… The loss of Alonzo’s ability to catch a football.

  6. S16 - Hunter Green ('The Hunt Punters') (4 - 1):

    All the league videos would be improved ten-fold if they featured Lipovsky eating fried chicken and Tom Loughran giggling invisibly in the background.

  7. S16 - Kelly Green ('The Kelly Rowlands') (2 - 3):

    Jordan promised us before the Supplemental draft we would have 4-6 weeks of refuge from Dameron yelling at us. Unfortunately it’s still coming from the sidelines.

  8. S16 - Power Orange ('Homo Depot') (2 - 3):

    Cline and Honeycutt have become quite an unlikely dynamic duo, leading the league in points scored this season.

  9. S16 - Teal ('TEALquila') (3 - 2):

    Facing 2 rookie QB’s in his first two games and 2 backup QB’s last week, Adam has looked like this Dom-Top thing is working out for him. How that”ll look by season’s end??

  10. S16 - Power Blue ('Kristin and Her Blue Balls') (3 - 2):

    Rookie Captain Aaron went from being the most benevolent captain the league has ever seen to being an *absolutely ruthless misogynist terror* in the span of about 3 minutes.

  11. S16 - Power Yellow ('Stripper Circus') (2 - 3):

    A few rookies are having some real success this season playing with Veteran QB Scott, but that doesn’t hide that Andy Pratt has a serious case of Stockholm Syndrome.

  12. S16 - Purple ('Purple Squirrels') (2 - 2):

    Maybe this team is actually good and I am just their Kryptonite.

  13. S16 - White ('Cake Monsters') (2 - 3):

    Jeremy is having a bit of a renaissance in his old age, but the rest of the team is struggling to catch Marvin’s rockets. Meanwhile, watch Porter Cake grow!!

  14. S16 - Royal Blue ('Royal Housewives of DC') (2 - 2):

    Perhaps our mid-season social event could just be an anonymous Q&A session with the Royal Housewives of DC to get all of our questions answered.

  15. S16 - Charcoal ('#SquadCoals') (1 - 3):

    *THE FIELDS HAVE BEEN SET UP ON TIME*, and thus I can give this team no shade, only love. Except for you Stephen, stop talking.

  16. S16 - Navy ('Call Me Navy') (1 - 3):

    QB Boyd celebrated throwing a meaningless extra point at the end of a game he lost like he had just discovered the cure for Alzeiemer’s. A lot of intensity, not a lot of results.

  17. S16 - Silver ('Hi Hoe Silvers') (1 - 4):

    RJ wants this comment to be about him, so it won’t be. Although he is throwing 1.85 Interceptions for every TD he throws so there’s that. But I promise you this isn’t about RJ. I’m not giving him any attention, positive or negative, at all.

  18. S16 - Orange ('Tang Banged') (1 - 4):

    If only this team played as young as their Grindr Profiles say they are.

  19. S16 - Burgundy ('Burgun-D-Bags') (1 - 4):

    If Santos is the devil on Hotchkiss’s shoulder… Who’s the angel?