Season XIV – Week 5 (Author: Jay Jay) - April 17, 2017
Take Olive It (Olive) (7 - 0):
The Mexican invasion and dominance is going strong. Someone close the border to Carter Barron!
Rose Before Hoes (Pink) (6 - 0):
Still undefeated and showing all the promise needed to continue this streak. Following Captain Brett C as he returned the kickoff all the way to The House. Touchdown. “I hone my running skills while escaping trolls at Crew Club. But this time I had on my shorts.”
Scarlett O'HeyBoys (Crimson) (5 - 1):
The mystery to this team lies in Qb AJ. Your team was oozing crimson blood last weekend after a tough upset.
Blac Chyna (Black) (3 - 3):
Long’s gone black with Jordan. This mixed affair has a winning combo.
Kung Fuchsia (Fuchsia) (2 - 4):
Fighting up all season, this new Q has the acrobatics and the will to come out winning even without Peanuts.
Lit AF (Charcoal) (4 - 1):
QB John is swinging more than you know. His seasons is swinging towards more victories and it’s showing.
Jew Kids on the Block (Royal) (4 - 3):
If only these Jew Boys had picked up Sean B. and Adam S. they’d dominate DCGFFL, banking, Hollywood, and deli’s. Super Jew Q Robbins fortifies his game with matzo and gefilte fish. Mazel tov.
Lime Lick Maneuver (Lime) (6 - 1):
Barry always makes lime work in his tequila. And this color is showing promise. This Q wins squirting juice and passes in all directions.
Irish Creamers (Kelly) (5 - 2):
Moving up two notches just doesn’t seem like enough for a team that’s shooting loads of wins. Plenty of talent to use like a Fleshlight. QB CJ is growing into his job.
Squirtle Squad (Cerulean) (3 - 3):
A rough FNL game isn’t enough to keep this team of smart veterans down. Missing a key receiver hurts but they can manage.
Ca$h me outSKY (Sky Blue) (3 - 3):
Ups and downs define this team. But always looking skyward and fighting with grit. Best rusher in the league helps their effort.
Vio-LIT (Violet) (2 - 5):
This makes me cringe and rejoice. Superstar Q Matt can’t seem to stay sober long enough to focus. Their losses don’t make sense. With a Big Receiver like Max, how are they not winning. Captain Bobby saved the day with the short game.
Dandy Lions (Yellow) (3 - 3):
Say what? Where was this team last weekend? They were there in body but not in might and fight. Where’s the roar in that MEEEEEOOOOOOWWWW?
Hardwood Forest (Forest) (1 -6):
Get out the chalkboard and diagram this for me. How is the team not winning? Marv and Levert? Start this love affair alllll over.
Cockwerq Orange (Orange) (1 - 5):
Ditto that: Just change the names. how can Mabray and Kyle not be winning. They know this song and dance.
No TEAl No Shade (Teal) (2 -4):
Leave it to Randy to persevere. And win. Unlikeliest pairing in the bunch but they’ll improve their record.
White Russians (White) (0 - 6):
Their record wouldn’t move them up but this team has crazy weapons. Are they hustling all of us? C’mon guys.
SUB-Marines (Navy) (1 - 5):
What’s it going to take to use use use these ready-to-take-it receivers on this team.
bREDskins (Red) (1 - 5):
Jeremy? On the bottom again? Whip that QB into shape. He looks like he’d like it.