Season XV – Week 1 (Author: Holihan) - September 12, 2017
SandJobs (Sand) 1-0:
Hofberg handed out TDs like a bartender handing out shots at a (plug coming) New Player Happy Hour on Thursday at Dirty Goose. Five different players got TDs yesterday (and Hofberg ran one in for himself).
Milk Me (White) 1-0:
The question going into the season was if AJ could do it again without Antwon. Good answer going into Week 1. Let’s see how Week 2 goes against a team with a QB (and if Nix wakes up in time to make it).
Look What Your Baby Blue (Baby Blue) 1-0:
Jared didn’t die and Waggoner didn’t kill anyone. This team is off to a hot start.
Katniss Everqueens (Forest) 1-0:
This team gets points from me as my favorite name for the season. Also, Cammas only ran in one XP. Someone check on the old man to see if he’s okay.
Jacked O Lanterns (Orange) 1-0:
Team Straight Brah motored their way to a big win over Graphite on Sunday, with RJ Martin returning to the QB position better than he left it.
Plums Of Steel (Purple) 1-0:
Tony Stewart had more rushing TDs than Hofberg, Cammas, or AJ. The DCGFFL is a weird place.
Bananagrabbers (Power Yellow) 1-0:
The firm of Santos, Santos, and Washington filed a strong defense against the Thots, holding them to 2 TDs while grabbing an INT and four sacks.
Power Blue Pussy Whips (Power Blue) 1-0:
A good QB, experienced leadership, and a deep roster – this team has a chance to be the first women Captain/QB squad to win the championship.
Get In My Kelly (Kelly Green) 1-0:
Missing a few of their best players and they still managed to eke out a win vs. Gold. Could be a team to watch this season.
Jordashians (Black) 1-0:
This team is overflowing with talent. Can the QB harness it?
AC Slaters (Slate) 0-1:
Nikki looked great, DMitch looked solid, and Hackbarth looked like the angry Little League dad yelling on the sidelines
Whorange (Safety Orange) 0-1:
A new romance is forming with Scott Graham throwing 4 TDs to Cameron Burrell on Sunday. Haters post forthcoming the first time Sanders gets a TD.
GoldiCocks (Gold) 0-1:
Two traditions were seen to continue on this team: 1) #Todd Gameball. 2) Larry Womack nowhere to be seen.
Buns of Teal (Teal) 0-1:
I have never seen a nicer collection of white men in my life.
Queens of WesterHOES (Royal Blue) 0-1:
This is a team full of adorable small men who welcomed Waggoner back to the league in the best way they could: by laying down for him.
Red THOT Chili Peppers (Red) 0-1:
Andy Allen is the DCGFFL’s Sisyphus, pushing Long Diep up the mountain, season after season, for the rest of eternity.
Euron Gayjoys (Navy) 0-1:
JJ, Ken Green, Tony Britford, and Brian Donohoe single-handedly brought the average age of the entire league up by 3 years.
Green Eggs & D (Neon Green) 0-1:
Things I will bet on: Anyone on Johnson and Pratt’s teams having a really fun season. Things I will not bet on: Johnson and Pratt getting to the Final Four.
Pink FlamingHos (Pink) 0-1:
At least this team is great to look at.
Diamonds in the Scruff (Graphite) 0-1:
The Nellies Bowl turned out to be worse to watch than seeing your friends drunkenly hook up at Nellies. In daylight.