Season 23 Power Rankings: Week 6
1 I Run Gay (Iron Grey) 6-0
I think it’s fair to say that this team has the best rush in the League this season. Not only that, they’ve got sound receivers, and Linda is clearly having a calming effect on her QB husband who is making smart decisions in the pocket. While one of their wins is a forfeit, the question remains: are they going to make it to the playoffs undefeated? I can see it.
*_closes door and turns to the 10 queer-identifying QBs_ Y’all, not another straight QB winning this…
2 Cocked & Loaded Limebackers (Lime) 5-1
This team of highlighters is certainly popping. Their only loss so far has been to Red, and I’m a little baffled as to what happened there. I would dismiss this team on paper, but their record speaks for itself; there’s something here. I don’t quite know what it is, though. Does this team have an identity, a vibe?
3 Purple Pee Hole Eaters (Purple) 5-2
Like Sarah Paulson anchoring a Ryan Murphy production, Twon is the rock upon which this team is built. A couple of their players are getting those extra reps in at Rec League which is paying dividends, and once team dad, Scott G, is back they’ll be firing on all cylinders. I won’t be surprised at all to see them in the final 4.
Aside: I know team names often appeal to the least common denominator, but, girls, really? That’s what we decided on? We have a whole team that disregarded their color in service of a fun name. Possibilities are endless!
4 Not Another White Refrigerator (White) 5-1
Ben H did a lot this weekend with not a terribly deep bench. Maybe he’s finally learning some coaching skills! Love your rookies and they’ll love you in return, Ben! Nonetheless, they have a tough road ahead of them as a little birdy told me QB 1 will be missing some games without an obvious QB 2 on deck.
Not unrelated, here are my favorite drops in order:
- Mic drops
- Death drops
- Dew drops
- Ben drops in the rankings
5 Foamosexuals (Seafoam Green) 5-1
This undefeated team has been felled! That it was Columbia Blue who slayed the beast left this writer a little stunned, but, hey, I thought our Foamosexuals were always just that—foam and no substance.
6 Rock Hard (Graphite) 4-2
After a couple of rough games earlier this season, this team is gelling. The Joe and Mark alliance that had all the Captains and QBs abuzz at the pairing event seems to be coming true.
7 Shady Birches (Forest Green) 4-2
Coming off a costume contest win, this team at times looked like they were better suited for a Party City than for a football field. Yet, they were still able to end the weekend 2-1. Let’s hear it for overcoming the dropsies and for the women on this team!
8 Oh My Goth (Black) 4-3
Sanders out meant that this team depended on…JC Adams. They went 1-1 this weekend. That win over Columbia Blue wasn’t without controversy, however. I saw head ref Hotchkiss had to consult final boss Brandon Waggoner on where to assess a penalty. Not that it really changed the outcome of the game, but I guess no one likes a pouty JC…
9 Coral Fixation (Coral) 3-4
A 38-0 shutout delivered by the number 1 ranking team?
10 Gold Dogs, New Tricks (Gold) 2-4
With Cline likely out for the rest of the season, Kyle B is QB now. He’s an experienced leader, but wow did he hold onto that ball about as long as Liz Truss held onto that Premiership. They had quite a contentious weekend with a disputed call against Graphite and a pretty chippy game against Lime. Not sure where this team is headed given that their top receiver is headed to Manila for the next couple of weeks. I’m on Gold and 10 Downing Street watch.
11 Rick Royal'd (Royal) 2-4
This team welcomed back an actual software engineer who improved upon (rewrote?) JC’s “algorithm” to lead them to 2-1 this weekend. That’s not to discount closet Swiftie Wyatt who is growing into his QB role; and, let’s also not forget about JJ’s first interception since HW Bush was in office!
12 The Sandra Bullocks (Sand) 2-4
Lamar getting tackled by a chair on a misjudged fade route thrown by his lefty QB was all I needed to see. Razzies all around for this receiving corps. 0-3 for your Sandra Bullocks this weekend.
13 Blue World Order (Columbia Blue) 2-4
The best birthday gift Ben M could ask for was taking down an undefeated team, but unfortunately he now has to guest host Quinn’s sports podcast to talk about their record. Pod save this team!
14 Cerulean Gworls (Navy) 2-4
Our dear Cerulean Gworls had a rough weekend. Most of the team must have had some kind of hideous skirt convention to attend as they started with only 6 players and a backup QB on Saturday. On Sunday, they were fed to the models and couldn’t handle Kelly Green. Let’s hope someone treats these 0-2 fashionistas to the trendy drink of the moment:
15 The Red Light District (Red) 2-4
With Brandon back, let’s just be glad this team finally played a game. But, just to be clear, the point of being in a football league is to, you know, at some point engage in football.
16 Yellow Brick Loads (Yellow) 2-5
I’m pretty sure this team just shares lifting routines in their GroupMe. Let’s hope they take their creatine and rest up this week because 1-2 isn’t a good look for these step-Sons of Anarchy.
17 Ready for this Kelly (Kelly Green) 1-5
They finally have a W, and I don’t have any follow up.
18 Yam It In (Burnt Orange) 1-6
At least I was able to close my exercise rings this weekend.