Power Rankings

The forecast up top just got a little “darker.” After a morning of “will-we-won’t-we” that had Seafoam canceling brunch plans and scrambling to Carter Barron at the last minute, Black finally decided the date was back on. And they wasted absolutely no time making Seafoam wish they didn’t answer the call. It started with a 20-0 shutout in the first half, with MVP Elle C. putting up three TDs (H-Elle yeah!). And when Seafoam thought they couldn’t sink any Lowe-r, Sarah L. added another TD and XP for good measure. The Foamies finally got tired of getting worked and pulled themselves together in the second half, but the damage was already done, leaving Midnight Snatch as the only team standing 3-0.

Orange you glad we decided not to rag on you this week? Losing your top spot felt like punishment enough. Besides, if you didn’t have time to play, we don’t have time to write about you. So, whatever happened with this game is between you, Red, and the football gods.

Sapphire didn’t just weather the storm — they became the storm. The wetter and rougher it got, the more comfortable the Snatchers looked, and by the end of it, they were right where they wanted to be: On Top. Snatcher MVP Tori T. was everywhere, hauling in two TDs, a 2-point conversion, and an INT to seal the deal as Rookie of the Week. And if that sounds like a lot, it’s because it is — many of you won’t do that all season. And Tori was hardly working alone. QB Metz kept Green on its heels while Erika N. helped run up the tab. With another win in the books, and Captain Daddy Yang finally off the IR, the Snatchers are starting to look a lot like the team we expected them to be.

The forecast is finally clearing up for Yellow. After a rocky Week 1, they’ve now strung together two straight wins, this time with receiver-turned-QB Cash leading week two of a comeback fitting of their name change. Nothing a little R&R and a playbook can’t do for team morale (or performance). And with neither team giving the other much room to breathe, Yellow needed contributions everywhere: Meg B. showed she only needs one good knee to moss your favorite defender, Jordan found the end zone, and Bri G-C. snagged an INT to help keep The Comebacks on the right side of this one point game. Things are looking brighter for Yellow, but rumor has it there may be some cloud cover ahead, with a certain WR and her one good knee expected to be frolicking under the dreary skies of London come Sunday.

The forecast wasn’t exactly favorable for Green, and the rain was only part of the problem. With their starting QB out, Kori stepped in and gave Full Bush plenty of life, delivering a couple TDs even as the switch took one of their biggest receiving threats out of the rotation. Captain Austyn and Tori S. also managed to steal Sapphire’s thunder, each snagging an interception. Even playing through rough conditions and down a key piece, Green gave us a few reasons to think a storm might be brewing. But, just like DC weather, Green wasn’t quite the storm we were warned about. Unfortunately for them, they found themselves in the path of Sapphire’s instead, and got blown away.

Last week, a forfeit sent them tumbling down the rankings. This week, they’re doing a fine job of keeping themselves there. Sunday was scattered showers for Foam Depot, who apparently used up all their energy just getting to the field. After a morning of mixed signals from the Snatchers and last-minute scrambling to get to CB, Seafoam spent the first half looking like they should’ve just stayed in bed. They eventually woke up and made Black sweat, but a second-half surge couldn’t undo a first-half disaster. MVP and Captain Em B. led the comeback with two TDs, an INT and, most importantly to her, a sack we’re told she’s VERY excited about. And with bodies in short supply, the rest of Foam Depot was pulling double duty and popping up in positions we never expected to see them in — looking at you, Nourtorious B.I.G. (Blocking, I Guess?). Unless the whole team decides to show up and show out (BEFORE halftime…), we’re not expecting clearer skies for Seafoam.

Well, you didn’t lose…

If Purple was ever going to catch a break in the forecast, Sunday looked like it. Yellow was without their starting QB, and after two straight losses, the Strapbacks finally had an opening. Chelsea T. nearly dragged them through it herself, scoring both of Purple’s TDs and keeping them within striking distance until the end. The defense was in it too, holding Yellow to just 13 points, with Ty S. snagging an INT along the way. Judy, naturally, managed to end up on the ground at one point, but thankfully popped right back up bruise-free (unless egos count?). In the end, Purple came about as close as you can get without actually winning, falling just one point short of sealing the deal. And with Green up next (and Kori expected to be back at receiver) there may not be another break in Purple’s forecast anytime soon.