Power Rankings

This quiet bunch rolled up to the fields early to start practice a full on hour before gametime. We guess practice pays off, as they sailed past the Yeeters in week one. After a season off, QB Lizzie is back to run around and throw dimes to anyone ready to catch, on her team or not! New to the league, not to the game, Ebay came in hot making dynamic reads on offense and defense. We are excited to see how this stealthy team continues to play throughout the season, or if their cocky confidence will ultimately be a flaw.

Lisa Z. is here and ready to run circles around us all, while still being sacked 4 times.. We are quite certain she could have thrown and caught her own passes this weekend, but she had her fleet of stellar receivers in tow to throw a pair of TDs. Red is the only team to draft exclusively receivers and decide to tell the concept of defense to go to hell. Luckily, Lisa was also in the backfield to play defense for the whole team too with 3 interceptions! We shall see what crazy scores this team puts up when Veteran Meg returns. There is no doubt that this team will secure the 1 spot sometime this season with 14 receivers and one alpha QB, as long as they can keep their opponent’s scores to a low roar.

We knew this team was going to be jolly, but also, holy giants! Shayne has finally found her favorite receivers, anyone over 6’ tall, to launch pop flies into the sky. Captain Jillian is keeping her coaching secrets safe under her new helmet; we all know it is not to protect from concussions. We are excited to see how this team unfolds and develops moving forward.

Please hire them! Or was it please ref in their favor? Down a rookie player thanks to Carter Barron, Black set out to show us what they got. For political and legal reasons, we are not allowed to make jokes out of fear of losing our jobs as writers. Instead we sing the praises of the team that beat Coral by *checks notes* one point. Blame the refs not the players! We are excited to see what this team full of all stars can do for the rest of the season, as long as they are on the better fields.

Another week one, another Lynch absence. It is also the only week that Nour will be running any actual routes. Hint: Lynch loves pitch plays and Nour will be on the line catching her breath for the rest of the season. Green rolled up on Sunday at 8:30 sharp and watched as Red was taught the basics of defense. After a grueling 20 minute warm up, Green managed to find their groove in the second half. The rest of the season is bright under this team’s leadership and we wouldn’t be surprised to see this team among the top teams for the rest of the season.

The Yeeters looked strong out of the gate this weekend, but just needed a little momentum to get some points on the board. There is no doubt under the veteran leadership of Em and Ally of the Year Dana, they will start stringing some TDs together. This team has several rookies and second season players looking to shine. If their defense stays as strong as it was this past weekend, they will be in great shape to do some damage.

Do not let the record deceive you, this is going to be a great team. With the cards stacked against them with a double header week one (brutal), I would say that these peaches did the best they could do. They shook off that rust from the long cold winter and started the season with a couple confusing plays. At first we thought it was just the sidelines confused, but unfortunately so was coral on the field. But, this team is led by last season’s winners so don’t think for a second they won’t make a giant peach style comeback.