S22 Week 6: Power Rankings
1 🥑 (Kelly Green) 7-0
There is simply nothing snarky to say about this team. The only shade to throw is at all the other captains and QBs for allowing the DCGFFL’s version of the Avengers to get assembled right in front of them.
2 Buns of Steel (Steel Grey) 5-1
They stumbled against Magenta but got up quickly to put the season back on track with a win against Easy Lei. With three games left against .500 or below teams, could Buns of Steel find itself coasting into a playoff bye and maybe a fun rematch of Waggoner v. Hunt?
3 Fwhorest Queens (Forest Green) 5-2
What’s good: nearly everything. Levert always drafts well and has put together a solid team. I could watch Holleran sling submarine passes to Ocho all day long.
What’s bad: that team name is about as witty as Shaq’s power rankings.
4 Gaystar Royalco (Royal Blue) 4-2
Sean Karson is many things: a big fan of board games & rock climbing, a nice guy, a very angry dodgeball player, and incredibly happy Oriya is back taking snaps behind center.
5 Shaken Not Stirred (Olive) 4-2
This team is just filled to overflowing with guys who look like they just want to watch a ballgame in peace without anyone talking to them.
6 μgenta Variant (Magenta) 4-2
μ goes out and scores at least 3 TDs a game and, since week 3, has held opposing offenses to under 18 points a game - and that includes #2’s Buns of Steel. If this team filled with DCGFFL’s 2016 All Stars stays healthy, they could actually win the whole thing.
7 DC Gay Flag Football Team (Gold) 4-2
The damage done to my liver (and wallet) from the heavy pours at Kiki pales in comparison to the destruction Gold did to my team on Sunday. At least they were pleasant while doing it.
8 Taylor's Version (Red) 4-3
After starting off hot, this team has suffered three losses in a row. Can they make it back to the top of the power rankings? Not if some of their best players take off mid-game to play softball. With two tough games ahead, Red needs to
9 Orange Queery (Dark Orange) 4-2
Joe Owens when he saw his team for the first time:
Joe Owens when his rookie QB turns out to be pretty good and they go 4-2:
Wait, I can’t tell if he’s happy here. Someone let him know he just won.
10 Easy Lei (Island Blue) 3-3
The model of a good, but not great team. They’ve won against teams they should beat (including a forfeit, a gift from Lime Green) and lost to teams with a .500 record or better. Next week’s doubleheader against Magenta and Maroon will let everyone know if Jim is just looking forward to another Beach Bowl championship or if he can steer this ship towards a deep playoff run.
11 MaroonPauls Drag Race (Maroon) 3-3
Things that will never change: Marvin being both older and hotter than all of us, Hiebing greeting you with a bear hug, and Steslicki acting like an absolute lunatic on the field.
We caught some video of Jeremy going after AJ on Sunday:
12 Super Pwinks (Super Pink) 2-4
How you know a QB has started to get it: they take what the defense gives them. I think I saw Cameron throw eight 5 and Outs, in a row, to Stacey on Sunday. God help the other teams in this league if he becomes our own Josh Allen.
13 Citrus Got Real (Lime Green) 3-4
Yes they have three wins, but they’ve come at the expense of an Orange team without their starting QB and two others with a combined 2-12 record. However, putting 34+ points on the board in every game you win isn’t exactly easy. Don’t sleep on this team - unless you catch them napping.
14 My Neck, My Black (Black) 2-5
The jerseys are nice?
15 Chrome Wreckers (Silver) 2-5
Who is this team? The one that got blown out by Royal and Black or the one that nearly beat Red and Olive? I don’t really know or care but there is a very large attractive man on this team who likes to demolish blockers and had all of the Peritwinkles yelling “Ruin Me” as our battle cry. #meattrainforever.
16 Peritwinkle (Purple) 1-5
It’s been a rough ride for a team loaded with newer players. At the very least, we remain a f***ing delight.
17 Wonder Bred (White) 1-5
It’s been a long time since this team has seen a win in Week 1 and, along the way, opposing teams have hung up at least 4 TDs a game on them. It was nice to see Andy Pratt back at QB for a day though.
18 Boats 'N' Hoes (Navy) 0-7
This is a team of incredibly lovely people – and Kyle Butts – who deserve better than going winless. Week 7’s most exciting game? Navy vs. White. It’s gonna be like watching our very own battle for next year’s first overall pick.