Season 23 Power Rankings: Week 8

1 Shady Birches (Forest Green) 6-3

Captain Nolan was seen limping on the sidelines wearing jeans this weekend, and the team still came out 1-1 in their double header. He’s expected to be back for playoffs though. With Nolan back and refs who can call a catch a catch (right, Alonzo?!), this team will be tough to beat in playoffs!

2 I Run Gay (Iron Grey) 9-0

I don’t know if Andy feels like he needs to step up his game now to be able to pass on the Pratt family name to his offspring or what, but something has changed in that house – the Pratts both looked like All-Stars this weekend (usually it’s just Linda, and Obie and Social Chair Amanda would agree!!!). Tony and Marlon were seen giving pro tips throughout both games this weekend, and it sure worked in their favor. They were missing a key part of their defense, Derrick and Drew, but the offense stepped up to remain undefeated. Has the DCGFFL ever seen an undefeated team win the championship?

3 Foamosexuals (Seafoam Green) 7-2

We can’t quite figure out what’s working for this hodge-podge team, but whatever it is, we kind of like it! Austin and Mike found their stride early on and their teammates just settled into place. Earning the top spot in the Dirty Goose division, we can’t wait to see how they battle through the playoffs!

4 Rock Hard (Graphite) 6-3

This team’s record doesn’t reflect how good they are. They came out of a double header this weekend 2-0. Watch out during playoffs…they’re coming for all of us. They really know how to utilize all of their team members. Kat had a risky, but well-done, pitch back in one of their games this weekend to gain some extra yards.

5 Oh My Goth (Black) 6-3

Injured JC is still a looming threat in the league. He did a great job capitalizing on his team’s strengths and absolutely destroyed Lime this past week. The question now remains, is JC really hurt, or has he been pulling our leg to get sympathy???

6 Purple Pee Hole Eaters (Purple) 5-4

Well, the Pee Hole Eaters started off strong, but now they’ve lost three in a row. Not a great way to get ready for playoffs. We didn’t actually get to see them play much, but was Twon even there? He’s been so quiet this season. Note to the Board: Your sportsmanship reminders were heard.

7 Cerulean Gworls (Navy) 3-6

The Gworls played tough against the undefeated I Run Gays, but couldn’t quite pull it off. Hotchkiss looks better than he ever has and the dynamic rush team is unstoppable! Top it off with the all-around camaraderie and this team will go far in playoffs….maybe?! Who knows!!!

8 The Red Light District (Red) 4-5

Even without Brandon, Red was able to pull off a win against Purple. We just love everyone on this team. They’re so nice. Can we hang out, please?

9 Blue World Order (Columbia Blue) 3-6

You win some, you lose some. Blue World Order came out 1-1 after a double header this weekend. Mike was making all the plays and catching Ben’s beautifully thrown balls against the Yellow Brick Loads, but they couldn’t pull it out off in time to beat Rock Hard. Ben, I’ll always root for you!

10 Coral Fixation (Coral) 5-4

I guess Ready for this Kelly satisfied the (c)oral fixation needs of this team by letting Coral spank them. Maybe AJ will dial down his everyone-look-at-me-I-need-attention behavior during playoffs? Said no one, ever! I (Steph) also want to shout out Aaron because he’s my favorite person on this team!

11 Rick Royal'd (Royal) 3-6

After a rough start to the season, this team kept true to its name and never gave up. With another measly loss behind them, maybe JC can rally his team to a new streak and pull off the improbable run in the playoffs? Or maybe they’ll just live up to their namesake

12 Not Another White Refrigerator (White) 6-3

With QB1 Ben Hunt out for playoffs, this team dropped several spots in the rankings. They lost to The Sandra Bullocks this week. Yep, you read that right. It’s ok Obie, you’ve had a good run this season. There’s always spring, right?

See now I’m wondering why I let Stephanie write these #ShadyBoots

13 Cocked & Loaded Limebackers (Lime) 6-3

Oof, the Limebackers have had a rollercoaster of a season. Got to the end of the season only to go 0-2 for the day. Are we sure that record is accurate? They are either ON or OFF, there’s no middle ground for them.

14 Gold Dogs, New Tricks (Gold) 4-5

They were dealt a tough hand this season. We had high hopes for this team early on, but injuries and absences didn’t play out well. They beat the Yams 18-13 this weekend, but we just don’t think they have what it takes for playoffs.

15 The Sandra Bullocks (Sand) 3-6

Where are the blockers? Oriya just needs a little more time. They did manage to beat White 19-18 this week, thanks to a lucky extra point play…but the rest of their season has been pretty rough. There are some solid athletes on this team. Go make Sandra proud in playoffs!

Also off topic, but Obie would like to also acknowledge that Stephanie and Sandra could be related to each other…I’m just saying, Stephanie, Halloween 2023!!!

16 Yam It In (Burnt Orange) 2-7

After another loss, this team is just looking forward to getting out early in the playoffs so they can go cook their yams for Thanksgiving.

17 Yellow Brick Loads (Yellow) 2-7

We’ve tried to figure out what’s missing here, but then realized it’s simple: several of these teammates are bitter they weren’t invited to the Shady Birches Retirement Center. Maybe Jim just needs that warm retirement weather to be able to show off his true skill. I mean, have you seen how many Beach Bowl tournaments he’s won?

18 Ready for this Kelly (Kelly Green) 1-8

At the beginning of the season, many felt this was the team to watch out for! After this season…I think Tyra Banks said it best!