Power Rankings

I promise to keep this ranking as condensed as possible - team orange, led by two of the feistiest competitors I know, have in my opinion, put together the most complete roster for season 31. They have speed, size(except for themselves) - I actually heard they set a DCGFFL record for shortest combined height for a QB/Captain pairing, congrats!! I know, I know, you all are probably tired of the comments about your height, I’m unfortunately just a little short on jokes today, I’m not that creative. Anyway - don’t talk trash to this team because they will surely snap back. I am scared for any QB that has to play this team as they have some nasty rush combos that they can throw at you, all while being able to cover downfield. If QB Luie can protect the ball on offense, I think this team has a real shot at taking home the championship. That is of course, if someone’s kickball schedule doesn’t come into play at the end. We will see!!

P.S. - DCGFFL Board, can we order a custom “petite” championship trophy in the scenario that this team wins?

Juan and Cam, the “power duo” of this season lead team White. This team is very balanced with stars at every position. Always nominated blocker of the season Logan D, reigning defensive MVP Carnell B, past MVPs Juan & Cam, rookie Ben W - the talent is there. I predict there to be a lot of highlights for this squad. However - there is a curse at play. Outside of his first season at QB, Commissioner and QB Cam M. has majorly struggled to advance in the post season, even after consistently dominating during the regular season. What could be happening? Has he been sending a subtle message to his now fiancé Ryan, that the only ring he will accept is an engagement ring? Well Cam, now you have it!! Maybe captain Juan V can assist - although he also was a 1st round exit last season as well. Hmmm maybe Charlie Salem award winner Brian H. can break the curse? Nope - no ring either. I don’t know guys, I’m out of guesses but I hope you figure it out - see you on the field week 1!!

The team that was drafted in an airplane - Captain JC and QB Austin P lead an experienced Cardinal team that looks to go all the way. This team has a lot of depth all around and rookies Pope & JoJo look to contribute early. Pope & Jojo, I hope you are reading this - please make sure you bring cleats and pocketless shorts to the game on Sunday, I know I may have forgotten to mention this in our team GroupMe as I was quite distracted in Korea over the past 2 weeks, for reasons I will not say. Oh also, we have team practice at 11am Saturday eastern time, not 10pm Sunday Korea time. Please confirm receipt.

If this team can stay healthy(Evan B., are you here with us?), and if the unpredictable Andy A and Kenny J show up to games on time, Cardinal could have a real shot at advancing to championship weekend.

Andrew G. and AJ R. lead a very “aged” purple squad. This team will need to score nearly every time on offense to have a chance to go all the way, because let’s be real, no one on this team gives any effort on defense, and some players simply refuse to play unless under perfect field and weather conditions. AJ has all of his favorite weapons that usually lead to deep playoff runs - Twon, Bryan S, Aaron B to name a few. If the rest of the team can step up and make plays - Ricky, Noah, Dave, TJ - and if Patrick B can keep up team morale with his pastries - this is a very dangerous team. This team will also be every referees worst enemy, thanks A LOT @dcgffl for assigning me to their week 1 game at 9am! …. why am I being punished?

Silver, led by Captain Alonzo M and QB Ben H, looks to bring their championship experience to season 31. Once again - Morgan W. has gone on another pre-season vacation and has teased us all with another spicy speedo pic — on the grid this time. You’re welcome for the new incoming follow requests — see, I’m a real friend. Anyway, this team boasts multiple star players and Captain Alonzo M is hoping to win his 3rd championship in a row. Rumor is Ben may be missing the first weekend of playoffs again - so it will be up to back up QB Andy P. to push them through to the second weekend if the rumors are true. And you better hope you don’t have to play against me, because if we go back to the DCGFFL archives, we all know how that will go. What are we at now, 13x in a row?

1st year captain - Champion Shaqiana Brooks leads this absolutely stacked roster with veteran QB Andrew A.. Both leaders are coming off very strong seasons and looking to take this momentum into season 31. While this roster is very talented, I am already noticing numerous commitment issues within this team. Rumor has it Captain Shaq was a no-show to his DC Hyrox race last weekend, Jordan A is apparently missing half the season(according to his registration)… also can you like text me back? Am I cut? —- and you’ll never guess who is missing playoff weekend AGAIN(Brandon R), honestly sick of it. This team does have all of the weapons to make some noise this season and I wouldn’t be surprised if we find this team in the final four. Also welcome back from injury Dawson!!

Light Blue is led by reigning champion captain Jamal L. and long time QB Jim C. The streets have been talking about Jamal’s “eventful” and/or questionable captain/QB pairing event decisions. Has his two championship gone to his head? I mean he did make a great catch over his now teammate Jay W. in the championship last season. Anyway - this is another stacked roster that I believe can win a lot of games this season if they mesh, as they have a very good balance of veteran leadership - Jim, Sam, JC #2, Fernando, and raw talent across the board. Also Jim Connolly, yes I’m using your full name - please do not try to run the triple option play that I witnessed last season again, because seriously what was that? I don’t even think that would have worked 30 years ago. Wait —- is that Levert J. I see back from retirement??? I know Jim C. won’t have wristbands for his offense but trust me, you WILL need a wristband for your defense. Levert, can I pick the theme?? Welcome back!!

The defensive playbook:

True Red also known as True “Mid” is led by Captain Alex D. and QB Wyatt E. I mean the mid speaks for itself - they have okay leadership, Rob C. won’t show to any games in the AM. Wyatt is coming off a wine & Aperol infused Italy vacation, Alex is coming from the gym - seriously, do you go anywhere else? Their minds are clearly not locked in on flag football. Hopefully some of their other players on this team, Matt R, Elijah M, Kobie, Vinny, Davone, can fill the glaringly obvious void on this squad.

In all seriousness. this team has some solid weapons and this will be a very fun team on and off the field, however I do predict this team to finish somewhere in the middle(mid).

I honestly love this squad led by veterans Matt H and John C. This team loves football. They are going to dive for that flag, talk trash, get physical at the line and give their entire bodies to win a game. I can see a lot of tough grind it out, low scoring games for this group. Now the real question is if John C. has the heart to lead this team at QB as I heard we literally had to beg him to play QB again. I also heard that captain Matt H. was shaking his head at the idea of drafting any new players from the workshop - and it appears that this resulted in his team not drafting a single rookie this season. Rude. Anyway, big welcome back to Austin A. returning from injury as well! Please stop diving for flags. We all - and I’m sure especially your man will appreciate it.

Matt during the workshops:

This team is HUGE. Every presumable starting receiver is well over 6 ft tall and is very very talented. First time QB Chad M. has all the weapons to succeed during the **regular season…yes, they drafted numerous players who will be unavailable during the playoffs - so while I predict a strong regular season for this squad, I don’t think they will have the fire power to advance far in the post-season, but maybe that was never the plan anyway? I mean, we all heard about Chad’s unsuccessful attempt to land Jamal during the captain/qb pairing, maybe a break from each other will be good for you both. I see this squad cozying up by a fire at Mark H’s cabin drinking wine and eating s’mores while everyone else is at Carter baron during playoffs. Okay — this was definitely intentional.

P.S. Don’t worry Cash, we will make sure you have an entire bottle to yourself on the DCGFFL tab after we learned what you were capable of at TAP. We can even throw in some liquid IVs.

Team seafoam is led by long time QB Brandon W and 2nd time captain Connor T. This team has Brandon written all over it. All veterans, all players that know the game and will listen to direction. I mean really, I think half of this team has played in at least 10 seasons in the DCGFFL. Captain Connor has a lot on his plate to manage this “experienced” group. Connor - we are all waiting for you to drop a “DCGFFL” cocktail - trust me, I think you’ll need it after a few weeks with this roster. I think this squad will start off slow and then pick up speed in the latter half of the season. Message to ALL captains - if thisBrandon Waggoner led team starts 0-3 before the supplemental draft…..please don’t fall for it. IYKYK

Trey and yet another straight QB, what’s new. Clearly Trey still believes that gays can’t throw a ball. Sapphire will be an interesting team to watch as rookie QB Curtis S. leads the offense. This is a pretty solid team and given Curtis’s experience at QB in other football leagues, I expect him to have a strong first season with a minimal learning curve. Now, will he show up on time, or in a condition suitable to play football? That, I do not know. Jordan M, Cam B, Brandon K, and Dan K are a decently solid receiver core for any QB and I can’t wait to see how this team turns out. Yes, I said “decently solid” what are you going to do about it?? Maybe I’m wrong..maybe I’m not. [The Board reminds all disgruntled Sapphire players to direct their anger towards JC and not to the League email, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, or any other public facing platform xoxo]

First-time QB James E. and aging captain Paul W lead team yellow - opposite to Forest Green, this teams receivers are all under the 5’8 mark, but luckily in flag football specifically, size isn’t everything. This team features a lot of team speed which can be dangerous for their opponents. Rushers PJ M. and CRR will bring the energy to their defense to round out this squad. I think this team will likely finish middle of the pack but could surprise us depending on how far QB James E. can take them. I believe last season James filled in at QB and put up a whopping 44 point beat down on my sister Luie’s team. Alex David happened to be the starting QB on the opposing team - so maybe not actually that impressive.

Gold, led by Captain Andrew H and now veteran QB, Chris D - have put together a pretty solid roster. Chris has a ton of weapons on offense, Joey H, James J, Ademola A. - however it appears they did not draft a true center or cone, so we will see if this decision comes back to bite them as it is highly possible Chris is running for his life every play, and girl, we’ve seen you run — and it’s giving Unc. This team also has two pairs of brothers on the same team this season - which I don’t think has ever happened before - pretty cool I guess, does losing together as a family make it easier, or harder?

This team ummm - will be an interesting watch. 2nd season QB Zach M. is looking to pick up where he left off after a strong finish to last season. I have to be careful about what I say because my favorite dog sitter happens to be on this team (shout out to Rob K), but I am just struggling to see how this team wins many games this season. They have one safety and not a lot of overall team speed. While this team does have many talented players - we will see if their questionable draft decisions pay off. Also - have we not learned anything about drafting your partner to play on your team? I mean come on, I am pretty sure I set a CLEAR example of why this is NOT a good idea.

Another Rookie QB Jonathan D and veteran Captain Brandon M lead team Black. I am trying to find something nice to say about this team. I mean - they have potential….but I also have the potential to stop posting shirtless thirst traps on Instagram, it’s just not going to happen. Unfortunately, this is the only team I think will struggle more than Pink this season. The good thing is that both Black and Pink do play each other this season so at least one of these teams will get a win. I don’t see this squad stopping anyone on defense. We will see if the talented quartet of league vets Josh E, Michael A, Quinn M and Chad H can bring some of their experience and pick up some wins. Maybe 2 time champion and superstar receiver Quinn M. can bring his championship culture and save this team?? Idk Quinn, this might be a task even you can’t accomplish.