S22 Week 3: Power Rankings
1 Taylor's Version (Red) 3-0
I don’t know about you, but this team may win season 22” (Taylor Swift’s Voice). You can see Dwaylan making sacks on the field and twerking at the bar. Not only a star in name, Connor Starr shined bright on the field while sporting a shoulder brace and finishing the game. From talent to determination, I wonder who’s going to beat this team.
2 Buns of Steel (Steel Grey) 2-0
Bobby’s return to the field has been nothing short of spectacular. Leading her team to a 38 -16 win. If anyone is going to Steel the crown from Red, it might be them. Are yall really about to let Ben Hunt win his second championship in a row?
3 🥑 (Kelly Green) 2-0
I wish I could name this team the golden girls team, but for them age is really just a number. Represented by a host of veteran players, the question isn’t if they know the game, it’s just if they’ll be able to finish the season. The happily expecting Scott Graham will be missing a few games, we’ll see if they can hold their own on the field without him.
4 Gaystar Royalco (Royal Blue) 2-0
You might have missed this game because you were busy watching another or playing in your own, but we all heard Sean Karson’s excitement this weekend. He finally got a good one, eh? All jokes aside this team put forth an amazing game with star performances by Josh Estryn and Ivan Torres
5 DC Gay Flag Football Team (Gold) 2-0
This team has me confused in multiple ways, first of all what is this name, secondly when did Rob start showing up to games on time? It paid off because they were able to get that one point win over Wonder Bred.
6 MaroonPauls Drag Race (Maroon) 2-1
They didn’t win last week, but this week they managed to pull out two wins! It turns out their team was catching more than balls, it was reported that Jeremey was catching Zs in his car between games. Winning Strategy? I guess so.
7 Shaken Not Stirred (Olive) 2-1
I don’t know what’s more peculiar. Matt Cline rushing or Mike Osorio signing the ref’s scorecard that his team lost when they indeed won. Maybe Mike should take his Martinis stirred not shaken because something wasn’t clicking, but at least it was on the field!
8 Easy Lei (Island Blue) 2-1
Don’t be fooled by the 36-0 score people. Easy lei had a beachy Sunday this week, Lime decided not to show up. Let’s see next week if they can win with a full roster on the opposing sideline.
9 μgenta Variant (Magenta) 1-2
We usually encourage players to go to a boozy brunch AFTER their game, but at least AJ showed up! We can’t say the same thing about their star player Greg Carter. I hope he doesn’t have the μgenta Variant.
10 Orange Queery (Dark Orange) 2-1
Last year’s champion captain was able to pull out 1 win and one loss, we’ll see if his on the field marriage can produce enough chemistry to get another championship!
11 Wonder Bred (White) 1-1
Look out for this rookie captain and QB duo, we’re all wondering if the new girls can lead their team to the championship
12 Fwhorest Queens (Forest Green) 1-1
Fwhorest Queens? Or Drama Queens? Somebody call Bravo, I think we’ve found the Real Housewives of DCGFFL. Levert, Quinn and John Riley have all earned their spot on the show due to arguing with the refs. Let’s hope Forest Green and the refs are on the same page by the mid-season party.
13 Chrome Wreckers (Silver) 1-2
Chrome wreckers may have secured a 1 point win over Pink, but they got their chrome wrecked in their first game. So bad in fact the other team brought in Sean, their Captain, to QB the later part of the game. Might be time to turn the hoopty into the junkyard boys or at least get a tune up.
14 Super Pwinks (Super Pink) 0-3
If bitter was a color… it’d be Pwink. Consistent losses have plagued this team and I don’t just mean their games. With multiple injuries they struggle to get their feet under them. We didn’t expect them to be this low and we bet they didn’t either. Hopefully they can pull it together next week.
15 My Neck, My Black (Black) 0-3
If you want to be a riff on Khia’s one hit wonder you’re going to need at least 1 win. With 3 losses, this team is sadly dragging behind. Maybe week 3 will be their one hit. New Chant Alert: “My Neck, My Black, catch some passes, get a sack.”
16 Peritwinkle (Purple) 0-2
Rookie QB can’t seem to lead his twinks to victory. But we are seeing the progress, lets hope Drew doesn’t miss a game because he might be their only hope.
17 Boats 'N' Hoes (Navy) 0-2
Knowing that this team consists of 80% of the board, I hope their approval rating is higher than their ranking. But shoutout to Logan for, not only being a great director of players, but also for scoring the only point for his team this season. Let’s not make it your last.
18 Citrus Got Real (Lime Green) 0-3
… I know you lying. I get it, it was cold… Really? No-one wanted to show up?