S22 Week 4: Power Rankings
1 🥑 (Kelly Green) 4-0
Is it Avocado season, because this guac doesn’t seem to be browning any time soon! It’s certainly not easy winning three weekends in a row, but 🥑 has seemed to manage it seamlessly. Not to mention winning both games in their double header this week. Y’all might want to get your change cups and get in line because they said it before: GUAC IS ALWAYS EXTRA
2 Buns of Steel (Steel Grey) 4-0
Winning their double header this week with stunning performances by Ben Hunt and Matan it’s hard to tell if Buns of Steel will ever show a little rust. With a record like theirs the only “medal” Buns of Steel is going for is Stainless. No white refrigerators here.
3 Gaystar Royalco (Royal Blue) 3-1
Gaystar Royalco was serving a serious turnaround story even Logan Roy would have to be proud of. Giving away three interceptions in their loss against 🥑, it was a pleasant surprise to see them seemingly fueled by the L in the next game. They turned around to beat last weeks #1 team Taylors Version.
4 Taylor's Version (Red) 4-1
Last weeks #1 team Taylors Version was looking promising, and still does. This week, Connor Starr had another breakout weekend scoring multiple TD’s. Nevertheless, we’re all wondering if there’s history with Gaystar Royalco because this team walked away from their first L like a bad breakup. After that game they might be singing a different tune. Reputation (Taylor’s Version) perhaps?
5 Easy Lei (Island Blue) 3-1
We love our league QB’s don’t we? Even when they mix up game times and show up late right after a huge play? All shade aside it really must not have mattered because QB Jim Connolly and team showed us just how easy it is for them to shut a team out in the second half and win the game. Sun hats off to Easy Lei for making winning look not so hard.
6 Shaken Not Stirred (Olive) 3-1
Shaken Not Stirred certainly played a close game. With a few key players missing and one point in between them and a tough loss they cut it a little close for comfort. Regardless, they were able to pull out a win. Hopefully next week they’ve got a full roster or the only thing shaken might not be their martinis.
7 Fwhorest Queens (Forest Green) 2-1
The Fwhorest Queens started a forest fire this week on the field. There’s no arguing that QB Keith Holleran played the game his birthday deserved. However, there was plenty of speculation to why Shaq Brooks showed up right before the half, tired and tipsy. Did the girls have him shaking in his boots after last weeks power rankings? If so, do it again. That pick six and touchdown were cute for you. Maybe it was just the tequila though.
8 MaroonPauls Drag Race (Maroon) 2-2
MaroonPaul’s Drag Race is true to the current season of drag race. Talented team but like this years snatch game they can’t seem to click to get the win. Maybe they can get things moving next weekend.
9 Orange Queery (Dark Orange) 2-2
Orange Queery started this weeks game with a big play early on but their momentum didn’t last longer than the first half. If there’s one thing we know no one enjoys not being able to finish and I’m sure this team is no different. Hopefully they find a more satisfying ending in next weeks game.
10 μgenta Variant (Magenta) 2-2
μgenta Variant enjoyed a cozy win this week. Something must have clicked for this team because things were working on the field. Other teams may want to watch closely but don’t get too close….this variants a strong one.
11 DC Gay Flag Football Team (Gold) 2-2
The DCGFFT or Gold team had a weekend that was anything but 24k. With their first two losses its no shock to hear they needed a few Truly’s between games. Even so, they put up a great fight in both but came a little bit short of the mark. Give them a few days and maybe a few more truly and trust me they’ll be back to their gold standard.
12 Chrome Wreckers (Silver) 1-3
Chrome Wreckers love to ride bumper to bumper on the scoreboard. After a 20-19 win last week they found themselves with a 19-20 loss this week. With an athletic roster and experienced players fingers crossed they can turn things around. If they don’t learn how to create some distance the only thing getting wrecked will be their record.
13 Super Pwinks (Super Pink) 1-3
After watching Super Pwinks past games the only thing we are is super-ised that they were able to pull off a win this weekend. Plagued with injuries and absences, who could have predicted that interim captain Nikki would lead this team play after play to their first win. Inspired by her performance no doubt, Derrick Holt put on a show of his own with a game changing pick 6. Be warned. If they keep that energy and that bench clears up the Super Pwinks could give any team a run for their money.
14 Citrus Got Real (Lime Green) 1-3
Although their captain was abroad Citrus Got Real showed up and showed out this week. Getting their first win against My Neck, My Black. Let’s see if they can do it again next week in their fruit filled bout with Orange queery.
15 Peritwinkle (Purple) 0-3
In a tough loss against last weeks #1 team, Peritwinkle did their best but ultimately came up short. Nevertheless, Twinkerbelle must have been sprinkling a little fairy dust on this team because Drew Crane was flying all over the field. Maybe next week the rest of the Lost Boys will grow up a little and put up enough numbers to beat the grown ups.
16 Boats 'N' Hoes (Navy) 0-4
Who wore it better: The Titanic or Boat’s N Hoes cause both these ships are sinking. With a third week of losses (admittedly against good teams), what do boats and hoes have in common? In this case they all seem to go down. Hopefully there’s a life raft on board cause somebody needs saving.
17 My Neck, My Black (Black) 0-4
You is smart, you is kind, you is important. I don’t know what else to say to y’all at this point. Better luck next week.