Washington D.C.
Gay Flag Football League
"Get off the bench and get in the game!"

Power Rankings

Season XIV – Week 3 (Author: Jamar Anita Walker) - March 21, 2017

  1. Scarlett O'HeyBoys (Crimson) (4 - 0):

    William “you can’t grab my flag if I smack your hand down” Lipovsky and Amanda “hump Jamar’s back” Livingstone are riding high.  God this team is annoying.  Someone beat them please.

  2. Take Olive It (Olive) (4 - 0):

    QB Bill Cammas hasn’t lost a game since before we knew that pesky wall would be built.  And Captain Sean Holihan finally learned a merry band of twinks does not a good team make.

  3. Rose Before Hoes (Pink) (3 - 0):

    I won’t shade this team because it has a lot of people I love (except the Commish). I think they are really good (except the Commish).  Anyone can score at any given moment (except the Commish).

  4. Lit AF (Charcoal) (3 - 0):

    Captain Brian Hotchkiss is playing like he should be QB Brian Hotchkiss. I hope he takes over so we don’t have to listen to that studly John Boyd yell, “Ready, ready, ready” EVERY. SINGLE. SNAP.

  5. Lime Lick Maneuver (Lime) (3 - 1):

    I came up with this little diddy for Team Shorty:  Oompa loompa doompety doo. This team keeps winning ‘cause their conference is poo.

  6. Squirtle Squad (Cerulean) (3 - 1):

    Team Daddies & Sons is off to a solid start.  I was here for JC’s vodka squirt gun.  I was not here for Alonzo getting outrun by Gander down the sideline.

  7. Irish Creamers (Kelly) (3 - 1):

    A wise man once told me: There’s nothing better than beating people in front of their families. On Sunday, Paul Pham told us there’s nothing better than beating people…who are your family…for sick touchdowns…on their birthday. Cold-blooded.

  8. Ca$h me outSKY (Sky Blue) (2 - 2):

    QB Andy Pratt threw 5 picks on Sunday and was subsequently ordered to sleep on the couch — TMZ Reporting.

  9. Jew Kids on the Block (Royal) (2 - 2):

    The Jew Kids were stingy on defense in Game 1.  But the Menorah flamed out in Game 2 of the doubleheader.

  10. Blac Chyna (Black) (2 - 2):

    That’s two consecutive losses for Jordan and the Andersons.  “Throw me the damn ball” didn’t work for Keyshawn Johnson, and it ain’t working for you.

  11. Dandy Lions (Yellow) (1 - 2):

    Scott Williams (offense) and Adam Strasberg (defense) were benched for a violation of team rules.  According to Captain John Riley, it’s against team rules to actually start the good people.

  12. SUB-Marines (Navy) (1 - 2):

    The game was tight with Cerulean, and right when it reached the climax, the Seamen shot blanks.

  13. Kung Fuchsia (Fuchsia) (1 - 2):

    Captain Kevin Smiffy’s foam, Aunt Jemima rollers were the highlight for Fuchsia on Sunday. The second highlight: His right bunion appears to be healing nicely.

  14. Vio-LIT (Violet) (1 - 3):

    Has the real Matt Pearce returned? Or did you just play a team that couldn’t punch its way out of a wet paper bag. #QTNA #itsthelatter

  15. Cockwerq Orange (Orange) (1 - 3):

    The celebration of Captain Patrick Mabray’s 65th birthday may have been ill-timed Saturday Night.  Nah, go ahead and get your party on, boo.  The evidence suggests you wouldn’t have scored anyway.

  16. No TEAl No Shade (Teal) (0 - 3):

    When do you guys play Forest?

  17. White Russians (White) (0 - 3):

    If this team had some Black Russians, they might be better.

  18. bREDskins (Red) (0 - 3):

    The bottom — a position 98% of this team is completely comfortable with.  AmIRight, BB?

  19. Hardwood Forest (Forest) (0 - 4):

    I love my man, and I love his QB.  But what’s love got to do with it? #fixitjesus #jesusturnwaterintoareceiver #lordthisfurnaceisfiery