Washington D.C.
Gay Flag Football League
"Get off the bench and get in the game!"

Power Rankings

Season XIV – Week 6 Power Rankings (Author: Sean Holihan) - April 28, 2017

  1. Take Olive It (Olive) 8-0:

    Trevor won’t stop going to circuit parties, Josh and Nocella have great jock strap collections, Ryan has a public sex fetish, Mike won’t stop blacking out at bars – this may be the quietest ratchet team in DCGFFL history.

  2. Lime Lick Maneuver (Lime) 7-1:

    This team of straight boys has ruined nearly every team they’ve faced like a bunch of Becky’s walking into a drag brunch.

  3. Scarlett O'HeyBoys (Crimson) 6-1:

    New game! Take a shot every time AJ throws a TD to someone not named Antwon. It’ll be the most boring hour of your life.

  4. Rose Before Hoes (Pink) 7-1:

    Despite being one of the best teams in the league AND having Kenderdine on the roster, you’re not actually happy that they finally lost their first game. Unless you read JJ’s Power Rankings.

  5. Blac Chyna (Black) 5-3:

    This might be the best Long Diep team since he and Steslicki got Silver to the Final Four a few years ago. The question is, can Long stay out of his own way and will Jordan murder his QB if he doesn’t?

  6. Lit AF (Charcoal) 5-2:

    So many questions. Gave Crimson and Pink their first losses. But also lost to Yellow and Black. Who is this team? Three more games (Violet, White, and Royal) could leave Charcoal as the shakiest 8-2 team I’ve ever seen.

  7. Irish Creamers (Kelly) 6-2:

    A weak conference has allowed Kelly to feast upon other teams for easy wins, despite a new QB who is quickly learning on the job. Speaking of feasting: Tackney’s baking > OJ at safety

  8. Jew Kids on the Block (Royal) 5-3:

    This team has a game manager QB with a ton of weapons to choose from and could be the best dark horse team in the league. Week 8’s game against Charcoal could give us a better idea of who this team is before they head into the playoffs. Also, I don’t do Jewish puns.

  9. Ca$h me outSKY (Sky Blue) 5-3:

    Rowe and Miles’ Instagram accounts are still the most exciting thing about Sky.

  10. Dandy Lions (Yellow) 3-4:

    You want to root for this team. The name is nice and the people on it are nice but it’s like watching your drunk friend hit on someone – you want them to succeed, but you know how it’s going to end.

  11. Squirtle Squad (Cerulean) 3-5:

    Injuries and absences have really hurt this team. Losing Jared for the season was a tough break and leaves them with very little room for error. With Mable, Boylan, Nix and company, this group could still surprise a couple teams in the playoffs. Connolly could also show up on time for game day, but let’s not get crazy.

  12. No TEAl No Shade (Teal) 2-5:

    Despite a great supplemental draft pick, Teal has still just gone 2-2 thereafter. The season is going to wind up the way it started, with DMitch drunk somewhere and Teal losing.

  13. Cockwerq Orange (Orange) 2-6:

    A win on Sunday against Cerulean doubled this team’s win total. On paper, this is a talented and experienced team that should be able to hang with anyone. On the field, they just haven’t been able to put it together. You ever seen crazy parents yelling at someone while their nice kids are just waiting for them to finish? Yeah.

  14. Kung Fuchsia (Fuchsia) 2-5:

    I’d say something funny about Cameron but then he’d probably vaguebook me for a couple weeks.

  15. Vio-LIT (Violet) 2-6:

    Violet’s two wins have come against Red and White. If this team were a dog, it would have been mercifully put down weeks ago. Instead, we’re forced to listen to its death rattle for weeks.

  16. White Russians (White) 1-7:

    Jack Blaney gets White its first win by almost singlehandedly beating the bREDskins with two TD’s to Rob Casey, another running TD, and 3 INTs, including a pick six. Shout out to Bartel for running back an INT on a try for 2 (the margin of victory). That W came against Red – the next two games are against Pink and Charcoal. Don’t get used to this feeling.

  17. SUB-Marines (Navy) 1-6:

    I feel so bad for this team that I would actually listen to Shealy talk about working out for an hour.

  18. Hardwood Forest (Forest) 1-7:

    Since I don’t want to say anything mean about these guys – I recently found out that Marvin is straight and I was really unhappy about it.

  19. bREDskins (Red) 1-6:

    Steslicki, Stern, and Womack all finally showed up just to make sure that every team in the league got a win! Awww.